i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
