So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
no, he came in my armpit
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
