dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The air was thick with penises
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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