I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
