You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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