You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
