You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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