You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
