My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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