I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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