And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
