its not stalking. its research.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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