I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
