I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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