i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
