let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
