He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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