Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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