I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
