Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
