small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
