just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
