party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
