I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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