You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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