it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
