I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
