Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
