2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
