i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
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