Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
