you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
