I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
