I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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