moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
