your parents love me but you hate me
so explain again why im purple
no
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
