Can Purell be used as lube?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
