so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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