we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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