Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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