biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
