I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
