On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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