Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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