discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
