It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Randomize
