weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
