perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
