he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
be right there i have to get my cape
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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