I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
